@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
