clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
