And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
