Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
