...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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