I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
