I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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