Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
