yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
