I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize