Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
