There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
whose parrot is this?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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