In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
whose parrot is this?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
