Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
