he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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