I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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