He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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