life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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