The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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