First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
