I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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