I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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