My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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