drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
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