Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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