i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your cock deserves a montage
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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