hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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