yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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