Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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