I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize