I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
