we have officially lost it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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