We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Floor bacon is actually really good
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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