you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
A+ Viking dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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