So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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