I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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