I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
