he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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