worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
