i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize