i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
