He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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