worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize