It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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