you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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