I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
