...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
