Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
