you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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