I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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