You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
