last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
