Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
