I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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