did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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