His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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