just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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