I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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