im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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