i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
