My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
