He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
