JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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