He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
