im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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