kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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