the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
